A.C. CHRONICLES
25,TX, College,Women,Women,Women...
Just a place to get my thoughts out..
Growth/Life
Man, life is amazing. 2 years ago at this time i was busting my ass to get back in school, working two jobs, and just hoping for another chance to accomplish goals that I thought would no longer be attainable. Here we are 12:38 am, 2 years later April 13, 2013.. back in school, with 1 more year left, doing great in school, and it seems as if im on the right path and have my priorities in order. My prayers and deepest wishes were answered when I was given the opportunity to continue to pursue my education, but still something doesn’t feel right. I just have found myself looking to relive my younger years and it has me in a weird space. I am no longer part of a close knit group of high school friends anymore due to adult/life situations taking over. One is married with three kids, one has been out of college for a few years, has a child and lives with his girlfriend, and the other one has what i feel is his first true relationship that i’ve seen him care about. Here i am all alone, single with no potentials in sight, good looking, bright future in my opinion, yearning for all the things I feel i missed out on in my early 20’s and early college years. I was in my first real relationship pretty much from 18 until 23/24. I feel that even though great things came from that situation it has also hindered me in many areas along with my own personal barriers that i’m attempting to overcome. Now that i really think about it, the social life is what i think i lack most. That once close knit group of friends is no longer that, and in many ways makes me regret being so standoffish and so tied to one group of people. They surely didnt ask my permission to get married, get in relationships, move away, and go on with their lives so why did I feel entitled to be loyal/only cool with them? I have no fucking idea, must be the Pisces in me lol. I have pretty much little to no interest in most of the girls that I have talked to in the last few years. One came along, but that true spark just wasn’t there, and one more was close but my ego/self-esteem wasn’t at its highest due to her being a college grad already and me trying to work my way back into school at the time. I am not in love with my ex girlfriend in my opinion, but I can say none of the women compared to her. They may have been a little thinner or easier on the eyes, which is something i do place value on unfortunately, so that is/was part of my issue with her (hey im an honest guy), but they just didnt have it. The sex, the food, the emotions..the fact that she was basically all i knew for my early 20’s and early college years has really warped my mind/thoughts/opinions. You could say she was my best friend. After all this time, i’m still dealing with her smh…she is still in love with me and probably feels just like me but its just strange how our situation is. A loner, cant get out and meet new people, and just lost..but for different reasons. I have a heart and honestly feel bad about our entire situation because she is such a sweet young lady that truly loves me, but I just think that part of my life is over. I don’t even want to be friends because I know that she may have that little bit of hope left and i’ve already hurt her enough, but since she keeps coming in my life i cant just keep being an asshole and brushing her off. It’s a struggle and I try to keep my eye on the prize, which is graduating from college and getting on with this part of my life. If i could go back I would do so many things different but you live and you learn. Since i’ve been back in school, i’ve went back and forth with crossing, and after attending a few probates, i definitely wish I could have experienced it. I wouldn’t have followed any of my friends, anywhere. I wouldn’t care so much what people thought of me. Those are probably a few of my biggest mishaps. As a man though, I understand and have to realize that this is real life and that the world is much bigger than college, much bigger than me. I just need to suck it up and understand that obviously God would like for me to learn something from this. What that is? Only thing i can conclude at this point is that he wants me to do what I want to do, never follow a pack, and grow to be my OWN man. If he wanted me in a certain situation, obviously i would be in it. I try to stay positive because this is very light compared to others situations and I have to just sometimes think back to where I came from. I have 0 kids, 0 STDS, 0 arrests, im healthy, handsome (at least thats what i heard), not a substance or an alcohol abuser, and im forever seeking knowledge and wisdom. I’ll also be getting ready to graduate around this time in 1 more year. I have a very bright future ahead of me..im just ready for the future to be now so i can leave this point in life. I recall being the same way 2 years prior while I was working my 2 jobs hoping for another chance at school, which leads me to believe that there will always be an obstacle to overcome, and that this too will pass and i’ll have another battle to climb. I still have my mom & dad and siblings so i need to stop complaining. Oh well, just a little venting. Thank you God for my life and for the wisdom you have given to me in my 26 years on earth. Allow me to grow and learn what I need to from this situation. Thank You.
First Day of the Rest of My Life
I’m inspired again after listening to this Dame Dash interview. Just so much ambition. Less/No social networking and more school, studying, internet reading. So much info out here to be soaked up. Focus on the things that will put me in a better situation for the future. Im not doing anything else so i just need to quit bullshittin-AC
"Life Quote/Personal Reminder"
xxxx, get your shit together.
Getting a good job, working long hours, keeping your skills relevant, navigating the politics of an organization, finding a live/work balance…these are all really hard, xxxx. In contrast, respecting institutions, having manners, demonstrating a level of humility…these are all (relatively) easy. Get the easy stuff right xxxx. In and of themselves they will not make you successful. However, not possessing them will hold you back and you will not achieve your potential which, by virtue of you being admitted to Stern, you must have in spades. It’s not too late xxxx…
GEN feat C. Knight Produced By AC
Wisdom…For Me…& You
After 73 years of marriage, 94-year old Barbara Cooper knows how to get through matrimony’s rough patches. The author of Fall in Love for Life shares her hard-earned wisdom. By Holly Corbett, REDBOOK.
On making time to make love
“I don’t understand couples who say they are too busy or too tired to sleep together. Unless they are building roads all day or running a multi-national corporation, I expect they have just lost sight of priorities. If you wish to stay connected and happy in your marriage, my advice to you is to never be too tired or too busy to feel love for your partner. When your life is nearly over, you will regret it if you look back and recall too many nights when you made excuses instead of making love.”
On bickering
“The most important thing for any couple trying to get along is to think before you speak. If you are bickering and find that you are getting angry, take a deep breath and change course, and ask your partner to do the same. Try saying something conciliatory like, ‘I don’t know why this is making me so upset, but it is, so can you just humor me and help me get over it?’ By simply admitting you are losing your cool, you may find that the anger quickly dissipates.”
On greeting your partner
“If you want your relationship to survive and to thrive, you will have to train yourself to focus most of your attention on the person you love. When your sweetheart comes into the room, whether it’s just from taking care of some chores in the garage or from a long day at work, your job is to put down whatever you’re doing, look him in the eye, and verbally express your delight at seeing him again. It’s really so little to ask, and delivers so much - to both of you.”
On having affairs
“Some people have affairs because they tell themselves that they deserve more attention than they get at home. Or maybe they get annoyed because they feel that all of their needs aren’t getting met by their partner. Well, whoever told them that one person could meet their every need? You can actually live quite comfortably without having all of your needs met. Try thinking about it that way; you might be surprised how liberating it is. You are not perfect, and neither is your partner, but you can make a very pleasant life together if you are both serious about providing the love and support that go along with a marriage.”
On going from lovers to parents
“It’s true that when your babies are small, there isn’t much time left over for romantic gestures. But the wonderful thing about romance is that it is the quality, never the quantity, that matters. So when the baby is napping, throw a blanket on the living room floor, slice some peaches or plums or whatever you have in the house, pour a glass of something bubbly, and enjoy a mini picnic. Write love notes to each other and slip them in between the clean diapers. Be creative, and if you want your love to flourish, it certainly will do so.”
On overcoming money problems
“The most important ingredient for getting through tough economic times is THE TRUTH - it’s so important it should be capitalized and italicized. So this means that if you have any financial secrets you are keeping from your partner, you must put them on the table. Doesn’t that sound scary? I am sure it does, but as with so many unpleasant things that only get bigger and stronger in the dark, these secrets have a funny way of shrinking in the light of the truth. And as they get smaller, your stress and worry will fly away. There’s never a better time to be honest with your partner and yourself and make a plan for dealing with your debts and your excess spending - together. I promise, you will not regret it.”
On tuning in to your partner
“I think the place where good marriages break down is when one or both parties begin to take the other person for granted. And yet it’s understandable that this happens. Life is complicated and can be exhausting, so there is always a temptation when you get home to just tune out, because home is one place where you should feel safe enough to let your guard down this way. But there’s a difference between relaxing and disengaging, and while relaxing is a healthy way to recharge your psychic and spiritual batteries, disengaging is a drain on you and your relationships. Nothing is more important than that you recognize the difference and stay present for all the people you love.”
On bringing up the past
“The most important lesson I can teach you from our happy marriage is that we did not rehash. If something was unpleasant, we got through it, handled the fallout, and did not bring it up again in happy times. So we both knew that once a problem was solved, that was it - we would not have to answer for it again, at least not in its current form. And knowing this, we could give all our attention to fixing the problems that came along, because once they were fixed, we could forget about them, which is a very wonderful feeling.”
On controlling your anger
“Have you ever noticed that you can’t spell dangerous without anger? I’m no linguist, but I don’t think that’s a coincidence. When you’re ready to blow, you might say anything hurtful, things you would normally spare the person you love from hearing. Don’t say something you’ll regret forever. Don’t give your partner an excuse to come back to you with his or her own resentments. Instead, find a way to get your anger under control. For myself, I simply run through my mind a short movie of how foolishly I have been acting. You may have better luck singing a silly song, or patting your head while rubbing your tummy, or doing whatever little trick helps bring you outside of yourself long enough to regain control.”
"Worldstar Quotables"
God works in mysterious ways…..putting a nigga in a chinamans body, aint that some shit…
